The Package
by mystik-dragon88
Summary: Reno is bored one day and decides to give Cloud an interesting package to deliver. Cowritten with MaelgwynVioletstar. Just a fun fic we decided to write. Set whenever. R&R [slight editing]


**Disclaimer**: This does not belong to us, but wish it did.

**A/N:** Incase you didn't notice, I did refer to it as 'us' in our disclaimer. That is because I am the co-writer of this fic. We were bored, and after reading so many FFVII fics, decided it was time we wrote one. We also decided it should be about our favourite character, the lovely Reno of the Turks, co-starring Cloud. Might be slightly ooc, but it was written just for fun. Oh yes and the co-author is Maelgwyn-Violetstar. Anyways read and review.

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**The Package**

"455...456...457..." The constant dripping of the tap was really grating on Reno's nerves. _I really should get up and turn it off. Nah_. Reno's eyes gazed about the tastefully decorated room in search of something else to occupy him. He sighed. Damn Rufus for giving that mission to Rude. Lucky bastard. The thought of blowing up a couple of environmentalist freaks was certainly appealing. But Rufus had insisted this needed more of a discreet approach. Apparently wandering in, waving about bombs and threatening to blow the place into next Friday wasn't the best way to go about gaining the public's good opinion. He wasn't stupid. He wouldn't have done it like that, _exactly. _

Damn Rufus. Usually he'd be glad to have a day off, but what was there to do at eleven in the morning on a Monday? _It's too early to go to a bar, even I __have limits_, he thought.

A ringing saved him from withering away on the couch. He fished his phone out of his pocket and answered on the fifth ring.

"Candy's Pleasure Parlour, how can I help you?"

"Reno." A familiar neutral voice reached his ears. If the speaker was surprised at the greeting he had received, he didn't show it.

"Cloud, my favourite person in the world," Reno drawled. He smirked to himself. Just the perfect person to eliminate his current state of boredom. "How can I help you?"

"I don't have time for your games, Reno," Cloud snapped. "I'm ringing about that package Rufus wanted me to deliver."

"Oh yeah." Reno had completely forgotten about it. "Yeah. _That _package. That one's _real_ important," he said conspiratorially. He could have some real fun with this. If only Cloud knew what was really in the package. "I'm glad you decided to take the job, it's gonna need someone with a lot of expertise. Someone who can hold their own in a fight."

"Don't assume I'll take the job. I'm not a Shinra lapdog, unlike some." Reno scowled.

"Whatever, Strife," he said in an annoyed tone. "Are you gonna take the job or not?"

Cloud smirked, satisfied, when he heard the Turk's heated response. "I need the cash," he said indifferently.

"Yes Cloud, of course. Whateveryou say. But you're still taking Rufus' money," Reno said condescendingly, but still with a hint of anger. The redhead took his job as a Turk seriously.

Cloud growled into the phone. Reno grinned in triumph.

"Just tell me where to pick it up," Cloud said coldly.

"Come to the Healin Lodge when you're ready." As soon as he had finished speaking, Reno heard a click, followed by the dialtone. _Fucking Cloud. _He grinned evilly to himself. Yes, he was gonna have some real fun with this.

* * *

Reno was having a cigarette on the couch, when the doorbell rang. He smirked, and decided to take his sweet time answering the door. He did so finally and blew a mouthful of smoke into the blonde's face. 

"What is it?" He feigned surprise upon seeing Cloud standing there. "Oh, Cloud! Right on time! Come in, make yourself at home." He gave the other man a grin and stepped aside to let him in. Cloud hesitated before stepping cautiously over the threshold. He eyed the Turk suspiciously, now sprawled across the couch again. He knew Reno was up to something.

"Just tell me where the package is," Cloud said impatiently, still standing by the doorway.

Reno motioned to it with his hand unhelpfully. Cloud looked at where Reno was pointing, and upon seeing nothing there, glared at the redhead, now taking a drag on his cigarette.

"If you don't tell me where it is, I'm leaving," the blonde threatened. He now knew that Reno was doing this deliberately to annoy him. And everyone knew the redheaded Turk could be damn annoying when he wanted to be. It's like sometimes he made it his personal mission to annoy as many people as he possibly could, all for his own amusement.

Reno leapt up from the couch, the grin back on his face. "Don't go, yo," he exclaimed. "I was just messing with you." He disappeared into a nearby room and emerged holding an ordinary looking brown box. He gestured for blonde to come closer. Cloud gave him a disparaging look, but didn't move. Reno rolled his eyes and walked up to him himself. He leaned in much closer than Cloud was comfortable with, and whispered furtively.

"You see this? It ain't no ordinary package." Cloud looked at it for a moment.

"Looks like an ordinary box to me," he said, deadpan.

"It's _supposed_ to look like that. To fool anyone who might think of stealing it," Reno said. He stared at the Turk's face for a long moment, trying to find a hint of dishonesty and finally concluded that the redhead was either a very good liar, or was simply telling the truth.

"If it's so important, why can't one of you take it then?" he questioned the Turk, attempting one last time to see if Reno was lying.

"Rufus can't afford to have one of us out of state for that long. Things have been kinda hectic since he's been tryin' to rebuild Shinra and all," Reno replied without missing a beat.

Cloud looked at him skeptically, but took the box out of Reno's hands anyway.

"You have to deliver it within twenty four hours," the redhead said seriously. Cloud's eyes widened.

"What?! Twenty four hours? That's impossible, I can't do that!" he exclaimed incredulously. Rufus must be crazy if he thinks he can accomplish that.

"Well, if you're not man enough to do it, Strife, we could always just get someone else." Reno responded with a shrug, much to the blonde's annoyance.

"Fine." Cloud turned and stalked away. Reno called out after him.

"Be careful with that box, Strife," he said. "A lot of people are after it."

As soon as the door closed behind Cloud, Reno burst out laughing. "He's gonna have a helluva time getting it there in twenty four hours."

* * *

A middle aged woman waddled to the door as her doorbell rang. She took one look at the young man standing before her and her jaw dropped. 

He looked hot and exhausted. He was also missing a sleeve, a shoe and several chunks of hair. He appeared to have a dog latched firmly onto the back of his pants. He was wet, had a gash across one cheek, was covered in mud from the waist down, and smelled terrible. Faint wisps of smoke arose from his scorched clothes. His jaw was clenched angrily.

"I have a package to deliver to this residence," he stated in barely controlled anger. He handed the box over to the lady.

She wiped her hands on her frilly apron and opened the box. Her face lit up happily. She took out the card that was with it. "Margaret. Sorry I was not able to attend on this important day. I wish you a Happy Birthday. From your dearest nephew, Rufus." She pulled out a hideously designed floral gown and beamed at Cloud. "It's wonderful!"

To her surprise, the man before her seemed to have gained an uncontrollable twitch in his left eyebrow. He looked murderous. The poor lady backed away slowly, still clutching that awful dress. Cloud turned his back on her and stormed away angrily, kicking over the pots and garden gnomes that littered the woman's front lawn as he went, the dog stubbornly still attached to his leg.

* * *

Back at Healin Lodge, Reno was enjoying a cool glass of scotch, while lazily flicking through the channels on the TV. He was in a really good mood, after Rufus had declared a week long vacation in Costa Del Sol, and winning a bet with Rude over whether or not Elena was going to finally convince Tseng to go on a date with her. He could still hear her muffled weeping as Tseng rejected her, again, before hearing her scream his name out in frustration, after she discovered the fake mouse he had left in her top drawer. He smiled fondly at the memory. _Ah, this is the life._

Suddenly the phone rang. Reno answered it lazily on the seventh ring.

'Yo.'

'Reno!' It was amazing how Cloud managed to fill that one simple word with such venom. Uh oh. Seemed like Cloud had discovered Reno's evil scheme, then.

'Hey, Cloud!' he laughed nervously. 'So good to hear from you!'

'I am going to kill you. I am going to tear every limb from that worthless body of yours until all that is left is...'

Reno smirked as Cloud ranted on. _Maybe I should stay out of his way for the next few days. _He cringed and pulled the phone away from his ears as Cloud screamed another insult. _Make that weeks._

Reno suddenly heard something like a bunch of dogs barking through the phone.

"Shit, not again," he heard Cloud groan. Reno heard the phone clunk to the ground, closely followed by what sounded like a stampede of bloodthirsty animals. Reno began to laugh hysterically.

"See, Cloud? Don't mess with Reno of the Turks," he continued laughing maniacally, rolling on the floor.

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**A/N:** Well hoped you all enjoyed our fic, and don't forget to review on your way out. Ciao 


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